Saturday, January 29, 2011

A Good Day with Mom & Dad

Today, Dad picked me up at 9:30 and we went to Roy Carlson's visitation. It was sad to be there with out mom & see so many of her friends that are functioning on their own still. We just stayed for a bit and then headed to Spooner to visit mom. On the way, Dad mentioned that he thought it would be good not to tell mom that Roy had died. I agreed and I am very proud of Dad for understanding mom's illness and that for her hearing Roy died would just be upsetting and not worth the sadness or it might not mean anything to her but why take the chance.
A couple weeks ago, mom asked dad for the first time, "What kind of place is this and Where did I used to be?" He said he told her, "Your on vacation and this is a nice place with good food and a good bed." She was content with that answer & I am very proud of dad for responding like he did.
Today, mom was in the activity room exercising with others in a circle. When she saw me, she said, "Donna." Yep, that really made my day. I finished the exercises with her and then we went to sit with dad in the birdroom. We looked at books and photos and had coffee. Later, we had lunch & I said I was going to buy groceries but I would come back.
Dad was still encouraging mom to eat. She stayed with him for awhile but then she told him, "I'm going to look for that girl." He said she walked down the hall and then came back and went to the adjoining room where she likes to sit in the recliner. She calls it the living room. He could see her through the window that connects the rooms. She was looking at a magazine and had forgotten he was there visiting. We went and visited mom for a bit more & I told dad that I was glad to see that mom was looking at magazines and at least she seems calm and not worried.

When we left she was cuddling her baby doll. It's funny how as time has passed, I can look at a day like this with my mom and call it a good day. We enjoyed a meal together. We hugged and said, "I love you." I told her about a trip to Oklahoma that her and I went on & she said,"We should do that again." and I told her that we would.
I would love to have had mom's life turn out different, but I believe that God has a plan for all of us and my mom is a blessing to the people that interact with her now and some how this is all part of the plan. I thank God that mom is getting amazing care and dad is dealing with the changes of his wife with amazing love. God's in control...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

New Year of the Journey

Dad doesn't work at the dump on Saturdays in the winter so we have been going together to see mom on that day. It's a nice opportunity for us to be together. Mom looked great today! Her hair was clean and short and she had lipstick on and a little blush! Stripped shirt and her plaid shoes. She was playing kick ball in the circle when we arrived and said, "Bonnie!" That's my sister's name but I am always happy to have her recognize me to any degree.

We continued the game for a bit but then went to find dad in the birdroom. When I told that Donnie her sweetheart was there to see her she said, "I don't think so..." but as soon as she catches a glimpse of him she rushes to hug and kiss him.

We had a nice lunch together. It was our usual routine of looking at kids books and photo albums. Today, when she looked at the photos of my two sisters and her on a trip she said, "Well, look at those ladies." It was as if she didn't have a clue who it was??? I said, "Mom, that's you and me in the picture." No look of recognition just kind of agreed.

Mom isn't too interested in eating but dad is good at encouraging her and feeding her. He kept trying to get her to eat the potatoes and vegetables. Finally, I told her tell him you just want the pudding. It was funny because she turned and looked at him and said, "I want the pudding." It seems her tastes have changed because almost everything makes her make a funny face except sweet stuff. She smiled about that. She especially likes a apple/pear pie I bring her. Her eyes light up and she eats the whole piece feeding herself!

Days have been busy so I didn't write about Christmas. I was really dreading it but it went o.k. Not like past Christmas. I did not hear from my brothers but Kenny, Dad and I spent Christmas day with mom and it went o.k.

The question is so How's your mom doing??? She is doing fine. She doesn't remember much but she seems relaxed most of the time and the staff gives her excellent care. She enjoys holding her baby doll. Today after we looked at pictures and books I went to get her baby doll from her room. There were two dolls!!! I took one to the nurses station and said I think mom has enough to handle with one, but later when mom and I went to her room she said, "Where's the other one? There were two." Now how does she remember two dolls but not that her husband is waiting in the next room??

She doesn't remember where to go eat? or that we just played kick ball but she remembers she has two baby dolls on her bed. I told her the other mom came to pick up the other baby. I've also have started to tell her that I talked to her mom & she is just fine and going to visit her sister. Who knew that one day I would be telling my mom such fibs???

There are times my mind still can not grasp that this has happened to my mom and that she is living in a nursing home and will not come back home. That's the difficult thoughts but I am so thankful that she is in a safe, predictable place with wonderful care and I believe God has a purpose for all of us and maybe mom's purpose is to touch the lives of people in the nursing home because everyone knows who Sophie is.