secretarial duties

It is 2:30 and I have spent the entire day doing paperwork for mom & dad. Call about prescriptions. Talk to the doctor. Fix IRIS time sheet for caregiver. Call 3 places about personal care funding. Deposit money in checking. Mail check stubs to caregivers. Pick up prescriptions. Talk to social work and caregivers. These are little jobs that consume a lot of time. At least I am blessed to have the day to do it. Now I have a bucket of apples that will keep waiting & maybe go to the deer. One thing Alzheimer's teaches the caregiver is YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL, so apples must wait.

Mom's brother Steve came to visit today. A very nice thing to do, since I can't imagine taking mom on that long drive to see him. She seems more confused lately & asks lots of questions when completing simple tasks. Dad is hanging in there but I am worried about his ability to handle the situation & then there are the cows. Soon they will be sold & that will be a very sad time for us. We will continue to take it a day an hour at a time & see where this journey is taking us.

Forgetting Fall Days

The days, weeks and months seem to be flying by. Mom is loving the beautiful colors of the leaves. The other day when I took her to a dentist appt. She kept repeating, "Look at that! Look at that!" Over and over again. She has also mentioned that she has never seen the leaves look colorful. It is as if she has forgotten the fall days. She is awed by trees. She often makes remarks about their size and now about their color. She also seems to be a little afraid that tall trees could fall randomly and comments, "Look how big that tree is."

Mom was a little rough on one of the caregivers so they said they thought it was best if they didn't come back for awhile. They felt that mom was being upset too much by their presence. This is very sad because Dawn is a very loving, easy going person & a mighty good cook. Dad especially enjoyed her company & food. That probably led mom to not want her in the house. We are blessed with wonderful caregivers so one of them picked up Dawn's Fridays & for now I am doing Wednesdays. That has become mom's bath days. Not sure how long this schedule will last but for now it is o.k. When mom has had dentist appts it has been an opportunity for the caregivers to clean the house & throw out old food. I am so thankful to have help with this responsibility.

During the past month, it seems mom's memory has really been slipping. She never really seems to know who I am. She does call me by name but then often questions me if she is correct. She makes occasional statements about the kids being in school & wonders when they will come home. When my brother Geno called she talked to him & then hung up the phone and said, "Who is Geno?" I showed her the picture of us six kids but I really don't think it's there anymore. She says, "yep" really fast when I ask about her understanding. It seems like a generic response just to be agreeable. How awful it must feel to have lost what once filled your thoughts.

Mom has also been waking up in the night. Dad says that about 11 o'clock she thinks she should get dressed. I have told him to give her the sleeping medicine but as of yet, he doesn't think it is necessary. I am concerned about dad because he is fighting a cold, seems more tired & quiet than usual.

Mom has also been confused with making coffee. She will put the pot of water below instead of pouring it through the maker & her dish water coffee has turned into some mighty thick cowboy coffee. One day she made sugar water in a cup and then dumped it into the whole pot of coffee. I was glad I had already taken out my coffee.

Have you seen Donna?

I have not been to my parents house for four days. It's difficult to stay away but it also has been a nice break. Last Thursday, I was there and dad helped me setup the cooker outside to blanch some corn. We cut it off the cob on the picnic table. I had brought two knifes and two boards out thinking mom would help. In the past, she is always eager to help with chopping in the kitchen. Not today tho. She seemed confused by the whole process. She repeatedly asked what I was doing & stated that she had never done that before. Is that ready to eat? Are you going to eat all that?
Dad helped with the cutting. He doesn't have a lot of dexterity in his hands but as usual he did not let that stop him. After working in the hot weather for awhile, I told mom to go get us three ice cream bars from the freezer. I repeated the directions & then she went in the house. It took a little bit & then she came out with the box of ice cream sandwiches and a bag of frozen stir fry. She looked at me and said, "Is this what you wanted?" I said, Yes, You go give dad this ice cream and I will take this back inside." It's heartbreaking to see mom not know what it means to get an ice cream sandwich.

Dad always checks in at 7:30 in the morning. Yesterday, when he called I told him to come down at 5 for dinner. They arrived on time & we had juice and chatted before our dinner of soup & grilled cheese. Mom was complaining about a cold & said she had a sore throat. When it came time to eat, she slurped up the soup & made noises indicating she was enjoying it. In a break in the conversation she looked up at me and said, "Have you seen Donna lately?" I have been training myself to go along with her thoughts & not always correct her so there was silence as I tried to decide how to answer that. Then Kenny said, "That is Donna. This is where she lives." and mom looked confused and responded, "I know that, where's the other Donna?"
It felt good to have mom & dad at our house again & dad always seems to relax and enjoy his time with us. Hearing mom's confusion is such a difficult situation.

Busy days

Since dad's heart attack the days have been busy! Today, I took mom for a doctor's appt. in Siren. I was disappointed because he really didn't evaluate her, but they did get a urine sample so at least I will know if she has an infection. She also got a shot of cortisone in her hip. It has been bothering her and was very sensitive to the touch. Hopefully, that will help with the pain. She has really been confused lately. She has asked me, "How did I get here?" Referring to the house she has lived in for 40 plus years. Today on the way home she couldn't remember where we had been or how the day started out. School started this week and I am sad not to be in the classroom but also very relieved to have time to help my parents. We now have help for them most days of the week. I don't know how long the situation will last...it is an overwhelming situation that you just have to take a day at a time.

Dad's health

Last Sunday, I spent the day with mom. We went to church & my brother came up for a visit. I made a hamburger rice hotdish and did a few chores. Rick kept mom entertained. Dad came home from his dump job & he seemed in pretty good shape. Lately, he has been tired and I figured it was from his new medicince Lyrica or from mom. She can really tire a person out these. We had dinner & I left them about 4 o'clock to take dinner to my Uncle Irvin. I stayed with him until 6.

When I got home & opened the door the answering just clicked off. No one had left a message. There was just some fumbling sounds. Seconds later the phone rang again & it was mom saying that dad was having chest pains. He talked briefly to my husband & then we called 911. We were up at their house shortly after the first responders.
Dad was sweating and very gray in color. They drove him to Dairyland and the helicopter from St. Lukes picked him up. Within 5 hours, he was recovering from getting two stints put in one artery. He seems to be feeling pretty good & it's only been a few days but he is tired & today I found out that he cannot return to his dump job for a month. Dad loves his job and will feel bad about not working.

It has been a roller coaster week. Mom seems more confused than ever. She is anxious at times and doesn't remember why she is there (at home). Not sure when she moved there or if that is her home. She has lived there for over 40 years. It was sad for my sister and I to see her like that. Last night, she was asking, "How far are we from the highway? She seemed to think they lived too far out in the woods. "Did we talk about it before we moved here?" She also feels anxious about trees being too tall and clouds that look a little dark. She frequently asks me who I am, where I live and when did I get there.

I have been busy trying to get help from the county. There doesn't seem to be any easy answers. I don't know how long dad can handle mom. They are so loving and it breaks my heart to think they won't be together, but I told dad that we have to think about our health too. We can not do it all & mom is a sweetheart but she takes a lot of energy. The social worker seemed to think in-home care would work for some time...now I just have to find the worker. How will this all turn out? Dad told me today that he thinks they need a little help everyday.

I have to remind myself that God is in control, but I am tired.
Lord, Please give us rest and peace. Amen

Back to work or not yet...

I've spent the last couple days trying to decide about returning to my full time teaching job the end of August. I can tell mom has lost ground the last month and I don't know how long dad will be able to handle it alone. I've spent time with them everyday for 6 days and yet she asked me who I was yesterday. She also has recently asked what grade I am in. Yesterday, she cut her bangs again and looked so upset when I came in. Her hair was wet and I wasn't sure if it was water or lotion. I convinced her to wash it and we blew it dry and she was looking good when they went to the senior meal. Dad told her Ma, You're looking so good they will probably say your meal is free today. He is such a sweetheart to her. She has been making a lot of noise lately clearing her throat and coughing. I know he gets tired of the noise and looks at her funny and she says, "What?? I'm just coughing."
A neighbor finally took the chickens from the middle coop. I was so happy to have them go someplace else and not have to worry about them but the last two times I was up there mom has started to keep a couple hens & chicks in there!!! She doesn't put water in there so when I get there I let them out and they run for the water. Yesterday, I locked the door with no chickens inside hopefully they will not go back when she opens the door again...
Yesterday, I took more things out of the house a few bags of old clothes, knick knacks & coffee mugs. I have been doing this for about 4 Tuesdays in a row & I think I can actually tell that there isn't so much stuff & mom hasn't noticed anything missing. I thought for sure she would be wondering about the old rugs I took a couple weeks ago but thankfully she's not missing them. I'm not sure how the month will progress or what my decision will be but I will look at the pros and cons & pray.

Positive Thoughts

I need to focus on the positive so here it goes...ten positive things about mom at this time.
1. At times, she hugs me and says, "Oh, What would I do without you?"
2. She is still making coffee in the morning.
3. She loves to eat. Yogurt, ice cream, chicken and cookies are her favorite.
4. She is able to go to the garden and get onions or lettuce.
5. She loves her plants and the animals: cows, cats and chickens.
6. She gives Pa a hug and always wants to know where he is.
7. She washes the dishes.
8. She is silly & rolls her eyes.
9. She has a strong body and can walk around.
10. She sleeps at night.